For some reason lately instead of doing my actual work I've been thinking about the future. About how it never arrives how I hoped it would. That’s the problem with me; I have been brought up to always think about the future. To prepare for a tomorrow that quite frankly may never come. So all my life I have been working towards this goal of my future and I don’t even know what I want that future to be. Plus, as I am planning for this future I feel alive but like I am not living. When will this future come and will it be spectacular or a spectacular let down.
Life is full of expectations that we place on what we would to be like when we "grow up". Most people by now have learned that life is going to let you down; nothing ever is your expectations. I have learned this lesson countless times and yet always remain optimistic about the future (That my friends is why I might just be insane). I am not saying that everything turns out bad, in fact my life is turning out pretty well, it’s just not how I imagined it would be.
The other problem with always preparing for the future and looking forward to what is to come, is that I am missing the now. If I wake up in 20 years and my life is great, will it really be whole if I dont have any great experiences to look back on is it really worth it. There are a lot of things that I would like to do but can't do them because of my future career will not allow it. I don’t want to look back on my life with regrets.
Now I am not an advocate of just completely living in the now. I do believe that preparing for tomorrow is a great thing, because being caught off guard leads unfortunate consequences. However, I just want to live in the present and enjoying my fleeting youth.
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